Empathy
It wasn’t just a concert. It was church, it was theatre, it was poetry, political, and soul healing. Not only did #emilyking come on stage to join @krystlewarrenofficial for a song but toward the end of the show Krystle got the whole audience to sing in three part harmony on “I Hope He Comes Back,” and then for her final song, she covered “January Song” by #lindisfarne She was so moved during the song, she jumped down from the stage into the audience and began hugging people. My heart started racing to think that she might embrace me.
After seeing her for the 5th time live and having plenty of opportunities to meet her after each concert, I’ve been too shy to introduce myself. She made her way through the audience, the band was letting the song come to an end. She couldn’t hug everyone, but… she walked right up to me, looked me in the face with her smile and hugged the shit out of me before going back up on stage. I cried. Still welling up every time I think about it. I won’t ever forget last night. And oh… did my heart need every bit of it. #krystlewarren #zachdjanikian #emilyking @ Rough Trade NYC
Seeing Krystle Warren perform last night the way she did, got me thinking again about the relationship between the audience and the artist. It got me thinking about empathy. This subject has already been on my mind, as I am currently writing a play. Who is this play for? Who should go see it? What is the, “take away message,” from the story I want to leave the audience with? I am asking myself all of these questions as I continue to build and create this piece. A friend of mine and fellow applied theatre cohort member, reminded me of something a very wise man once said…
“Empathy must be understood as the terrible weapon it really is. Empathy is the most dangerous weapon in the arsenal of the theater and related arts…Its mechanism (sometimes insidious) consists in the juxtaposition of two people (one fictitious an another real), two universes, making one of those two people (the real one, the spectator) surrender to the other (the fictitious one, the character) his power of making decisions…Empathy functions even when there is a conflict of interests between the fictitious universe and the actual one of the spectators. That is why there is censorship: to prevent an undesirable universe from being juxtaposed to the spectators’ universe.” — Augusto Boal, Theatre of the Oppressed
This is all scary business to me. Scary business because now we are talking about a choice to make an exchange of power between two people or more. Or, releasing your own control to feel or share someone else’s joy or pain. There is a magnitude of responsibility involved when artists meet with their audiences inside concert halls and theatres. It is the same responsibility we have in any relationship. Whether we realize we’re being held to that culpability or not. I’ve been told by more than one lover, that I could stand to execute my giving and understanding of empathy so much more adequately, in moments of conflict or hardship amidts our romances. My ability to give away empathy freely first, in certain instances I don’t quite understand yet, is something I am still figuring out how to put into effect. First comes understanding, then empathy. But you must make it through that first vital establishment before empathy arrives. And understanding and empathy are not the same thing. We need both.
How do we form trust and understanding in our relationships with each other and with our art? You might agree with me that when two people feel understood by each other in a romantic relationship, it can be the sexiest revalation two people can share. I’ve had similar experiences at concerts and in the theatre. Like I felt understood by the song being performed, like it was being sung just for me. Or, a playwright wrote a scene in the second act of a show to literally hold a mirror up my current life story and force me to reflect deeply about what the hell I plan to do about it. By telling the whole truth, trust, understanding and empathy are all possible. By not withholding. By being brave. By taking the time to identify the deep intentions of every creation and every relationship. By simply taking your time. Where does the power reside within these relationships and will you make the choice to surrender your heart and open it as many times as it takes, to try to understand and feel another’s point-of-view or position?
How do we discover the “why” behind the why? This is the work that must be done. Because, on the other side of surrendering your heart, awaits an opportunity for evolution and growth. Scary business indeed. The way I see it, there are countless ways to engage with any audience and use empathy as a weapon and a tool. Whether it’s literally leaving the stage to hug them, or simply taking the time to tell them your whole truth. I am wrecked with anticipation and delighted to found out how many different ways my audiences will experience communion with this play. I wonder how they might find themselves playing around with the danger in their own heart’s. How they might be willing to excavate that danger and find something more.
